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April 08 What i used to think of JesI'd thought I'd tell the whole world how I feel... what a loser.
Jes, for a long time you have meant the world to me, and to this very day you still do. There is never a moment alone that I waste it thinking of anything other than you. In your eyes I see stars that twinkle and sparkle like green tranquile seas. When i'm around you I am at peace, my worries fears and stresses all go away, nothing can go wrong when i am with you and its comfort i find in you. You will be the only person who makes me feel so good about myself, and there is no-one else in this world who is half as amazing as you are. You are the most thoughtful person I know, and it is the small little things that make the big differences. You are sweet in the videos you make, and pages you make devoted to your friends and family who you love and care about so much. You make the time to do these things, and I admire you so much for doing it. You inspire me in ways untold, and I have been a thoughtless empty fool for doing what I have done, and whether you forgive me or not, or get back with me... I want you to know that no matter what I will always be there for you, because after everything we have been through, after all the sacrafises we both have made, after living in some sort of fear, I will always love you the same way everyday, more and more as time slips away. I know nothing can be solved or fixed. But i thought i'd just let you know. I love you x December 07 Good things come to those who wait...Hey peoples, I thought i'd say that because I feel as though I dont have the time for anyone at the moment. I just got in from work and i'm feeling tired. Work and college seems to be draining me at the moment, but I got to let my hair down on friday when we went bowling, which was cool. Me and Josh are clearly the champions, but we let some peeps feel better about themselves, by letting them slightly beat us.
Friday was cool, but I need a lot more nights like that, i'm feeling a bit blank at the moment. I'm slightly falling back on my studies, which i'll make up during christmas. I hope people have some good things planned for christmas
 I know my christmas is gonna be a bit  . It's my mums birthday tomorrow -
 the not so big 44  Other than that, i have nothing left to say apart from... take it easy guys!  You hate me you love me, You hate me you love me. I know how I feel, but I think its obvious how you feel. You will bever be happy with me, you will never be happy with whatever I do. I hope you know how you make me feel sometimes. I love you sooooooo much and yet there aint nothing i can do about it, i have to wait!!! Enjoy your life with whatever it is you have planned! I just wan to love you xOctober 28 Endless, BrainlessI'musingthisnameasmyspacenamebecauseiamconstantlyendlessbr
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bemyselfakastupidlystupid October 20 Hallow!My Pumpkin! (a bit early.. but it gets boring here!)
 OOooo Yeah and here is a link that I just think is really funny! (requires flash)And for those who want to carve a pumpkin themselves i'd advise you to click this link, it's quite cool. There is a tune in the background to the pumpkin carving so turn it up!!
Happy carving! lol! September 07 Here are some kicksThat i wouldn't advise you to do...
This is basically just a list of adrenaline rushes you can get in your daily mundane life... you've just got to find them!
1. Cross a busy road whilst having your eyes closed
2. Cross a busy road whilst sneezing (its so disco-bob-ulating!)
3. Hang onto a bus whilst riding a bike
4. Jump on a milkfloat
5. Jump on a frieght train
6. Steal/borrow your parents car
7. Call your boss a clueless tosser
8. Go to a dark park on your own late at night
9. Stand 50cms away from the edge of a platform when a stupidly fast train passes through.
Ok i cant think of anymore, but those are ways to make your day that little bit more 'on the edge' sort of thing. Don't do them though, it aint exactly safe or wise! (obviously)
July 28 I'm sorry to all of you (if you even read this)I'm apologising to everyone right now for the way I act. I cannot help feeling the way I do and I just want to say sorry for it. It is annoying that you have to be around a person who has episodes of whatever it is... Therefore my apologies. From what happened on last friday evening was just me making myself feel better. Smashing the shit out of my 20 year old 650 watt microwave was the only way I could release some of the anger and frustration stored inside me. I kind of paid the consequences as well, getting a cut to my head hurt a bit. I'd like to thank all those who tried to make me feel better... you know who you are!
I am hoping to try and think more positive now, I can no longer carry on my life feeling sorry for myself whenever something goes wrong. I can't really afford to be sad!As for other things: Yeasterday I had an interview for my adult nursing course, which was kind of weird. As the interview proceeded, there were two people interviewing me (Des and ????), Des asked the questions and the otherguy (who we'll just call mel for now i suppose) marked and rated me. Amd I could see exactly what they were rating me as!!? But it was all good, the marks i got (1 being excellent and 5 being poor) were 2, 2, 3, 2, 2! I weren't complaining! So I left Des and Mel to decide whether i'm good enough for them or not, an I should find in 14 days.
Oh yeah, tomorrow I have to donate blood  July 25 I don't know????Do you know what??? Blah blah thats what! I hate hate so much, its unbelieveable! Hate is what keeps this world from being so perfect! Hate is just inane! It deserves no place on this planet, I hate it so much, and yet if i hate hate then am I a hypocrite? Or did I just give birth to my own little hate? I hate hate so much. Things would be solved much more quicker, understanding would be everywhere. And we'd all at least dislike one-another instead of hate one-another. Religion is more based on fear these days instead of Love and understanding. If we were to spend more time trying to solve our issues instead of ignoring them and letting them develop into much angry elements that then try to turn around and destroy us, then things would be that little less hateful, and more tolerable! Neglecting the things that matter most to you is the worst thing you could possibly do, and abusing them is just unforgivable! Because you have just hurt those things that matter to you most, and before you know it they will just get back at you and break you're heart, face, or country! July 20 In my mind all the timeJust a thought A brief moment is taken in each day to muster up the ways of getting back what I was. I’m a crude example of someone who depended so much on someone else’s values that I eventually burned them away. How foolish was I to let myself in to something so sinful? Losing track of what was once so joyful is my biggest fear, but if I forward myself… I’ve already lost it. |
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